LYRICS
JUST FRIENDS
Derek met Sarah on Only Fans
An annual subscription to her platinum plan
He took her to lunch at the Honky Tonk
Several months later he thought that he'd ask
"Are we just friends?"
Just friends?
​
They'd walk the sea front hand-in-hand
He thought she was the best thing that he'd ever had
But his simping smile nearly cost him his life
Misguided idolizing was nothing but strife
​
He'd answer her calls at 3am
Collect her from hotels like the Premier Inn
One night she got drunk and offered Ménage à trois
And that's the day that Derek met Mustafa
"Are we just friends?"
Just friends?
Just friends?
Just friends?
​
She needs someone to share her troubles
She needs someone to rely on
She needs someone to talk to
She said she loves you
Like a brother
​
But what about the evenings?
He'd keep you warm and safe at night
But what about the money?
The financed car and the rent?
But what about diamonds?
The gold cards and rescinded debts?
And Derek's heart? Split in two when you say
"We're just friends"
Just friends
Just friends
Just friends
​